Many of us have practiced our addition so much we have forgotten - if we ever knew - what healthy sexuality is. Is this masturbation nurturing or is it addictive? Is this movie healthy for me to see or will it contribute to my addiction. We found the following guidelines to be helpful in answering this kind of question.

 

S          It is a SECRET. Anything that cannot pass public scrutiny will create the shame of a double life. For some of us "public" means our significant other, our sponsor, or our SAA group.

A          It is ABUSIVE to self or others. Anything that is exploitive or harmful to others or degrades oneself will activate the addictive system, or cycle.

F          It is used to avoid or is a source of painful FEELINGS. If sexuality is used to alter moods or results in painful mood shifts, it is clearly part of the addictive process.

E          It is EMPTY of a caring, committed relationship. Fundamental to the whole concept of addiction and recovery is the healthy dimension of human relationships.

 

The addict runs a great risk by being sexual outside of a committed relationship.

 

The advantage of the SAFE (Secret, Abusive, Feelings, Empty) formula is that it is built on the basic concepts of addiction and is in the spirit of the Twelve Steps. It requires a ruthless honesty given that the addict's sanity is at stake.

 

Using the group or a sponsor as an on-going reality check can help keep the addict "SAFE."

North Texas Regional Intergroup of SAA

Recovery by grace, because you are worth it!

The SAFE Formula